Talk like a Poirot Day

How do I speak like Poirot?

Generally, we follow the guidelines laid down by the television Poirot portrayed by David Suchet. Here are our house rules, but use your own if you think we've missed a trick.

• Talk in a Belgian accent. (This is a lot like a French accent)
• Refer to your friends as "Hastings"
• When entering crowded rooms, announce "I expect you're wondering why I gathered you all here today"
• If anyone asks why you're speaking a French accent, respond to them fiercely that it is not French, it is in fact Belgian.
• To really put emphasis on a sentence, overly annunciate the last few words.
• When using adjectives, rather than saying something like "a red book", say "a book most red". Generally this works better with longer adjectives like, say, maroon.
• Occasionally stumble over words. "This website, it is... how you say... kaput!" This is particularly recommended when using non-English words.
• Stereotypical French words like "Alors!" are generally well-received.